It is not easy to love yourself. That is because you were taught not to. How many times did you hear, “girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice” or “don’t say anything unless you have something nice to say” or “stay humble”? These are just a few of things we are taught as young girls.
You were told that in order to be loved, happy, and sweet girl you have to be humble, quiet, and pretty. You were told you had to look and act a certain way. All of these things have held you back.
We are taught to be sweet and happy, and that any other type of emotion is not OK. So when we feel angry, sad, frustrated, anxious, or stressed you believe there is something wrong with you. Well I want you to know that you have the right to feel your feelings. Do not let anyone tell you how to feel. Because you are human you have a wide variety of emotions and you are entitled to experience all of them. I know these emotions can hurt.
This hurt is one of the reasons you struggle to accept yourself. You struggle with feeling OK with negative emotions. Just because you have the right to feel emotions doesn’t mean that feeling them makes it any easier. No, in fact sitting with emotions is hard. This is why I am inspired. I am inspired because I see so many women learning to accept and embrace their realities. Rather than stuff and avoid negative emotions, I see you, and so many other women, working really effen hard to work through them. This. Takes. So. Much. Strength.
Today I want to help you feel more in charge of your emotions. I want you to feel confident, even if you are experiencing some really uncomfortable feelings right now.
Grab your journal. I want you to journal about a time you felt really, really angry. Now ask yourself, “how did I get through that?” Notice how you are no longer feeling that angry. You see feelings come and go, they ebb and flow. Learning to ride the wave and learning that you will be OK, even in the intensity of negative emotions, will help you feel more comfortable, even though you are emotionally uncomfortable. I want you to journal this for other emotions like, sadness, anxiety, stress, and rejection. See how the feeling felt really uncomfortable and you doubted you would be OK. Then look at how you are OK. See how you got through it. Sure you may still experience some upset about things, in fact this journaling exercise may bring up these emotions for you again. But see how the intensity is different. See how you got through it. You survived! You were able to get up, take care of yourself, and take care of your life.
You have more strength than you think you do.
This is why you are my inspiration. This is why I believe you are stronger than you think you are. You have been through bad things and you have hurt. Yet you are still here, fighting, growing, and living.
After you have completed your journal activity I want you to email me. Share with me what you learned and how you have experienced negative emotions but that you were OK. I would love to hear what helped you get through that, you badass you!
P.S. In case you missed it, here is a Facebook live I did talking about how my clients motivate me. Watch the full video for more tips on building your confidence. Watch it here. Check out the close up on my face, totally NOT what I wanted to happen. But because perfection is boring I went with it anyway!
OH PS. I have another freebie coming your way. I am in the process of creating mini quizzes to help you see which roadblocks are keeping you from loving yourself better. Each quiz will also let you know which specific thoughts are blocking you from seeing yourself as the badass chick you are! These should be ready to email to you in the next 3 weeks (fingers crossed it will be ready sooner). I will let you know as soon as they are done! OK?
Wanna dive deeper into the roadblocks keeping you from accepting yourself more? Wanna learn the secret to more self-love, self-esteem, and self-compassion? Check out my FREE mini self-esteem e-course. You get a video, worksheet, plus weekly coaching tips all in your email. Get it here.