You have seen quotes on Pinterest that are meant to encourage and motivate you. You know, things like “Change your thinking and you will have a better life”. OK so sometimes this is true, but it is not always easy to do. Today I am telling you how to shut the haters.
When thinking positive doesn’t work, here is what you need to do to shut up the asshole in your head.
No matter how hard you try that voice will not shut up. You know, the silent voice in your head that says things like:
- you are so stupid
- you messed up AGAIN
- if only you tried harder you would be better
- no one here at work likes you
- you are such a screw up
You don’t want to believe these things, however when you hear this on replay in your head it is really hard to not believe these things to be true. This is where thinking positive becomes a challenge.
You cannot think something and not believe it to be true.
That sounds a bit philosophical, I know, but you think the sky is blue because you believe the sky to be blue. Why? You were taught the sky is blue. You have experienced the sky as blue. You see other blue things and see that it is the same color as the sky.
You have evidence to support your thought.
When you think something your brain starts looking for evidence to support this thought. It starts collecting information for the thought to be true. So when you have a thought, “I am so stupid” you start looking for all the reasons this is true. You can think all the positive thoughts you want, if the brain believes something to be true, it will be very hard to convince the brain to think and believe the positive thoughts are true.
Your brain gets stuck.
You believe the thought so it gets stuck. Your brain is not working like it should and is focused on the negative thoughts. At this point, thinking 3 positive thoughts or repeating positive affirmations is going to feel like a waste of time. It will certainly cause you frustration.
There are some reasons why positive thinking just doesn’t work for everyone.
One reason is you may have a legit mental illness. Your brain’s thinking wires may be crossed and stuck, therefore making it impossible to challenge the negative thinking. Things like trauma, stress, anxiety, depression, bipolar, eating disorders, and brain injury can cause the shifty negative thinking. When the brain is stuck it is really hard to unstick (is that even a word?) it.
Here are some things you can do to shift your brain when positive thinking just isn’t working.
- Remember it is NOT YOU, it is your brains shifty thinking.
- Ask for help.
- Talk to your mentor.
- Write down all the evidence of what is true and what is not true.
You need to get out of your head and get all of those negative thoughts out. Sharing them in someway can help you take control of your brain and start to shift negative thinking to a more positive and helpful place.
Today I want you to accept that it may not be so easy to think like Polly Anna. Your negative thinking may be a result of your brain not working right. Give your brain a break. Give your self some grace and try these things in order to help get the junk out of your mind.
You can learn to accept your body and love your life. You can learn to challenge disordered eating thinking and behaviors. You can learn to have confidence and self-acceptance. If you find you are having trouble with this, please ask for help. There is a lot of good support and help out there for you.
If you find this information helpful please share. This is a very complex issue that cannot be addressed in a 5 minute video, but feel free to ask questions and comment. Perhaps there is something I can help clarify for you.
Still not sure if you have an eating disorder? Here is a self-assessment, https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/screening-tool. This quick tool is to help you determine if you have an eating disorder and if you should get help. Visit NationalEatingdisorder.org to find help and get more information.
Do you feel you struggle with an eating disorder? Call Dr. Stephanie and see how you can overcome the cycle.