You spend so much time thinking about what is wrong with you. You think about and focus on things you want to change. You consider how you can be different and shame yourself for not being “good enough” – recognizing a theme here?

I hear so many people in my practice experience shame, self-doubt, and low self-esteem because of this idea that “I am not good enough”. There is a tendency to recognize the things that are flawed and not recognize the things that already make you a good person. There are things about you that already make you awesome!

One thing you already have that makes you awesome is a group of people that love you, support you, and encourage you. This group of people may be really small and limited but there is someone that thinks you are really great! Keep these people in your life. Consider all the people in your life that make you want to be awesome. Don’t have anyone? There are people out there that you admire. Surround yourself with people that motivate you and want to challenge you. Surround yourself with people that you want to be like. The saying is true, “birds of a feather flock together”. Flock with the birds that make you feel awesome!

You are full of emotions, and these emotions make you awesome, so keep these uncomfortable emotions. So much time and energy is spend trying to avoid, ignore, and remove upset emotions. These upsetting emotions are necessary and exist for a reason. Something upsetting happened and the way you feel is OK. Life gets hard and you have the right to feel the way you feel. Denying emotions denies your reality. Avoiding negative emotions causes you to feel that you are wrong or bad. You will not feel shitty forever so do not ignore them. It is OK to feel discomfort for a bit in order to feel more in control of yourself and your emotions.

Your life makes you awesome so the next thing you should keep is your reality. Again, we spend a lot of effort trying to deny and avoid negative things that we have experienced. There are events that cause shame and upset, and these events make you who you are. These events are your story. It is OK to feel upset, shame, angry, sad, and confused about the upsetting things that happened to you. Owning it allows you to move forward and work through the upsetting emotions and events. You can ask for help to move through these things. You can talk about these things and realize that you are really great even though you have experienced terrible things.

I would love to hear from you. Comment below. Who inspires you to be a better person? Give that person a shout out and let them know you appreciate them. As always feel free to comment, share (you never know who needs to hear this today), and like this video.

* Dr. Stephanie Waitt, LPC is a psychotherapist in private practice in Sherman, Texas. Stephanie works with young and successful women to help restore balance and peace. She specializes in working with individuals with eating disorders, trauma, anxiety, and depression.